Snow White Redux

“Oh shit! Somebody is coming. I’m going to go hide in the bedroom. Since I can‘t fit through the windows.”
Sounds like more than one person. I thought this was a playhouse. Dammit. They’re armed.
The first voice asked, "Who has been sitting in my chair?"
Uh, me.
The second one , "Who has been eating from my plate?"
Still me.
The third one, "Who has been eating my bread?"
Look. It was only a couple of pieces.
The fourth one, "Who has been eating my vegetables?"
Really? Someone’s in your house and your first thought goes to your garden?
The fifth one, "Who has been eating with my fork?"
I am a fairy princess, not an animal.
The sixth one, "Who has been drinking from my cup?"
Sorry, bottle doesn’t cut it. Fairy princess. Shit, they’re coming to the bedroom. I’ll fake sleep.
How cute they think I’m beautiful. They need to watch it with the candles near my face. If they don’t touch me I won’t move. This is comfy. Wonder what the thread count is?
The next morning.
Is that the sun? Holy shit. I’m surrounded.
"My name is Snow White." No sense of recognition. There goes my ego.
"How did you find your way to our house?" the dwarves asked. May as well tell the truth on this. Give me time to think of a way to get word to somebody.
The dwarves spoke with each other for awhile and then said, "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us, and you shall have everything that you want." Oh great, they’ve got me confused with Cinderella. Do I smell like I’ve been bathing in mouse shit and pumpkin? "Yes," I answered with my prettiest smile, "with all my heart."
“For I greatly enjoy keeping a tidy home.” One man’s fairy princess is seven others whore.